My Heart

Friday, I got through most of the day before the wind got knocked out of me. I just got back from my walk around 5, just turned my computer on, got comfortable and then was told that there was a lady at the gate, she says I help feed her family. I immediately started grumbling about how that is just to bad she will have to come during scheduled times and I have nothing right now. I grumbled until I saw her standing there at the gate, she didn't come last week to get the news we had no food for a while and traveled a good several hours probably by foot. The image that met me was her beautiful little 3 year old girl with a disability in her arms, her two year old holding onto her skirt, her 8 year old daughter standing near and then her beautiful 5 year old son hurdling as fast as he can into me so he could wrap his arms around me and burry his head into my stomach. She apologized about being late, she is one of my poorest moms, single with her whole family, her sick mom at home and nothing. I told her I had nothing, we have no food or money here at the Mission for this program right now. Then I looked at her little girls and held her son close to me and broke. I left and went and found everything that was edible in my room that was not jello mix, muffin mix or flaming hot cheetos. They got crackers, tuna, and a bunch of pre-made brown rice and my broken heart. She was grateful and I ache.

For Jonathan Sake

I am writing right now with a heavy heart in the wake of what is happening in Haiti. I am asking for prayer. As of this afternoon the ability to provide for my Outreach program is limited due to the after mass of the earthquake. Which means come tomorrow afternoon I have to tell 30 parents that they don't get to provide for their special needs kids. They have to go back to watching their family suffer in an even more devastating time. The earthquake has affected everyone. My heart hurts but there is a reason for it, it makes me see the needs of others and figure out how to go from feeling hopeless to doing something.

For Jonathan Sake is the reason I only have 23 kids in my orphanage and I love it, it keeps kids with their parents, it shows this culture they are worth a hot meal, medical attention and love. No, these kids are not found in the mass of the devastation happening at the capitol but they are affected by it fully.Within the last week I have had to turn families away from medical help, comfort a mother holding onto the loss of her little girl this last Sunday, hold a little boy at the age of 5 being only 15 pounds and feel helpless by massive needs right outside my doorstep As I am surrounded with families that have sick kids due to their disability or starvation, I am asking for prayer to go up with a specific name tonight for Haiti. I know we have a BIG GOD!



Because of Him,

Courtney Pierce

Look at My Boy!!!- Spelling his name!!!

What I am Thankful For!

Hearing with the Heart

So, in my organizational frenzy before I leave I have a growing pile of things that needed to be walked over to the Deaf School that recently became in partnership with the Miriam Center. So, I thought a quick trip across the street would not disturb my organizational groove. I figured I would just sneak in, place things in the corner and be on my way.

Who ever thought it was easy task to sneak into a class room of deaf children and adults was wrong, I forgot that these amazing children hear with their hearts. I got ambushed with touch and squeals, I had to give hugs and received far more then I could offer. I got to sit as they so proudly showed off the amazing changes that were happening in their classroom and lives. They showed me there new individual desk, brightly colored walls, murals, and their ability to communicate. As I was turning the corner to leave I was dragged back in by a little girl and the teacher went over to my children and ask them what their name were and each one of my children could hand spell their names! As I left, it hit me that I might still have a mountain of stuff to do before I leave Sunday but now I am just reminded of why I do the dance I do.

Little Thomas

Yesterday early morning Thomas our little guy that have been in lots of prayer the last couple months passed away from the pain of this world into the arms of our Maker. He got spend about 7 months on this earth and a good portion of that time in the arms of the Miriam Center in Rou's Corner. He got to for the last 3 months spend them in love, when his eyesight started to slip and things became black he got to see another world of touch. When his body started to shut down he got to spend that time in the arms of patience while the one's around him fed him by eye droppers, soothed his cries of pain and sang songs of peace. For the last 3 months I don't think there was much time that was not spent over his small body in touch in some way. Yesterday there were many tears shed for little boy here in Haiti and in the states. There was a beautiful small funeral for him yesterday, where the Mission staff and workers got to say good bye. He will missed always but is now able to actually see the face of Jesus in detail, feel with out pain and rock out in that Hammock with my name on it with my other children that went before him. Thank you for all that loved on this child through touch and prayer. Thank you for dancing with me this Haiti Dance.

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains

And should I stumble again

Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

- Hullsong United-

The Walls Came Tumbling Down

Time spent here in Haiti looks different for each person, as soon as their toes hit the gravel. As for me, the Miriam Center Director, my days usually consist of paperwork, organizations, dreams and, of course, smiles from the little ones who experience a world of opportunities outside of their disabilities on a daily basis. Now that list pretty much kidnaps my time for the most part; however, for the last couple days a new player has come to town, and it has taken priority: it is simply me staring at walls and dreaming. No, they are not metaphorical walls but are actually 8-inch thick concrete walls.

I have been dreaming big about the new space the birthing center move gave to the Miriam Center and all the walls that can come tumbling down to make space for playrooms, a dining room, bedrooms and the joy that will fill it. So, as I stared for the last couple days, I calculated that it would be months ahead before I would actually smell the concrete dust and feel the vibration of the sledge hammer. As I stared, I dreamed big and waited.

This morning came, and with it I really thought the excitement in my life would be limited to the fact that I got to add an armadillo to the puppets coming in next months. I was very wrong, and I realized it when I felt the first vibration come from downstairs and saw the cloud of dust that followed. Who knew that rain days before would limit a trip for the team here and open the door to the ability to pick up a sledge hammer and just go to town on my walls? As the walls came tumbling down over the hours, a new hope grew, not just in my heart, but in the team, the workers and in the kids. In my kids, there grew an acknowledgment, as they watched sweat pour down the faces, the dust fly and doors appear that they were loved, loved in such a way that in a culture that hid these kids behind walls we worked on bringing those walls down, in gigantic concrete pieces.

During this time, I was in and out in giddy joy as they moved from room to room creating hallways, doorways and dust. I stepped over enthralled children playing with assortment of educational toys, and there sat Den Den in utter stillness, and it made me wonder. I wondered why this beautiful little boy with Spastic Cerebral Palsy was holding a small toy hammer, staring at the team members going after the walls. At first, I thought he had misplaced the rest of the toy that went to the hammer, but as I gathered the pieces for him to play with, I realized there was a greater meaning to this stillness: he was helping. In his mind, even as his crippled hands could barely grasped the hammer and his twisted frame was never in control, he too was knocking down those walls. The look on his face was the look of one freed from a disability, one that found JOY through others, and just for one moment he, too, was free from those walls in his life. So, today as those walls came tumbling down, what was built in their place was hope, joy and self confidence, especially for a little boy holding a hammer.

BIGGEST SPOON!

The secret to stress my friend is the biggest spoon and how you use it. What you need to do is find the biggest spoon in the kitchen, a snack pudding and then the ability to just go town with it. I had my moment today where stress just seemed there, it was there when I woke with a headache, there over a spilled litter box, paper work, and deadlines all before 10 in the morning. So, me and my cloud of stress that was just there made our way to the big box of food hoping that would help with the eternal growling at the world and rummage through till we found the last pudding and then off to find a committed spoon. Stress was there when the only spoon available was the biggest serving spoon in the world and then my brain went “why not.” So, by the time I was done carefully getting ALL the pudding onto the big spoon then eating it in ONE bite, stress was gone because I was laughing so hard with the fact that getting the big spoon into the pudding was hard but getting it ALL into your mouth on the big spoon took everything to the next level of challenges When you drool that much and am covered in pudding you get no right to cling to stress. So, I challenge you the next time life get too much with stress beat it away with the biggest spoon you can find.

For Such a Time as This

In such a time as this in Haiti it is more common then not that waking up with a hungry belly means learning to sleep with it, the best answer to the question “when is the last time your child was fed?” is “when I can,” and little boxes holding little bodies are being wept over at an unnerving rate. At such a time as this is when we need to remember truly that we have a BIG God. A BIG God that does not distant Himself from the pain of His people but allows His comfort through able bodies to be broken and poured out over the endless tears. A BIG God that allows for the able bodies to cry out in frustration but gather enough strength to rise up through the pain of starvation, neglect and unnecessary death and continue to have stubborn compassion. A BIG God that allows able bodies to love whether it is taking one more child off the street into their own growing family, holding one more mom through the pain of a still or premature birth, fighting to get medicine into the hands of those in need, holding cripple bodies or opening up a safe place for 62 more orphans. For such a time as this God allows for the able bodies to dream big about getting pregnant moms to have enough food to allow them to deliver full term, consistent meals for the little ones crippled, blind and deaf in the community, proceeding to the borders of the Northwest zone of Haiti with food and the ability to get 12 containers of food donated that will take away all worry of trying to provide for the needs we have and the ones we dream up. For such a time as this God has placed His will into the hearts of this Mission to provide comfort, stubborn compassion, love, and the ability to dream big in order to reach out and hold tight to the people of Haiti and provide the understanding to all that we serve a BIG God.

Thank You for Taking My List to My Other Children

Let Me Show You Love and Lessons

I know she must have heard the whispers all week, she have must have heard the prayers going up on her behalf, I knew she felt the pain that was there but still she refuse to listen. As her body slowly started to shut down, I watched her struggle, I watch this 3 pound baby somehow survive day after day despite of the odds. The odds were telling us that as of last Monday when she lost so much blood it would be hours, odds told us that when nothing was being kept down it would only be time and odds were telling us that when her breathing became ragged we need to stay close but still she fought. I believe in the end she fought for the man that was here at the Mission that recently had burry his wife without much notice, the first timer who needed to see Jesus just a little more real, the old timer who needed to know how it felt to hold a little life, for the one who needed to find peace and understanding and for the heart that didn’t think could love much more through pain and loss.

It was no surprise that we all gathered and gave our gratitude as she slowly allowed for us to say goodbye through out today. We gathered in prayer, tears and love today and took turn thanking her for the lessons that were taught. Little Naomi fought for the ones around her right up until we placed her with much love and greif into a small wooden box.

Hold Me Just a Little Longer

The Process of Saying Goodbye

I entered the house with the acknowledgment that little Naomi kept flirting with Jesus. As I entered the house to make a phone call I was surprised and overjoyed by being handed little Naomi, she has become my girl. I was trusted with the fact that she was dying and that she might leave during this time with me and would I be okay? Yes, I would be okay; me and Naomi have this running list of things I need her to tell my Sarah and such if she does decide to leave this earth. So, as we spend time together I watch her body slowly shut down. I realize now that there is limited time of holding her here and having to hand her to our Jesus and I am okay with that, because if she has to leave this earth she is going to go to Jesus being loved and with lists.

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME= basket!